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Post by illwill on Oct 11, 2007 13:10:55 GMT -5
The only thing that kills a thread faster than shitty competition is overzealous/incoherent posts by froshomers – believe me, I know first hand (see Freshman15 circa 2004).
Formula, if we want shitty counselling(sic), we sure as hell won’t go all the way SFU, but rather any number of academically comparable institutions much closer… say Langara, VCC or Vancouver College of Learning Good English. Furthermore, Translink… what’s that? Have you been to Point Grey… All we do over here is roll around in our parents ‘old’ 2006 Land Rovers, Escalades, and Navis.
What’s with all the BS about Phoenixsfu getting laid, if this is true (which is pretty much scientifically impossible) SFU must be full of far more mingers than I previously thought.
Sparknotes version:
-SFU Freshman Suck
-Formulat1 is a gay login name (not that there's anything wrong with that)
-Taking the bus is for hosers
-UBC is better than SFU
-There is no scientific reason as to how or why phoenix is getting laid/that’s just outlandish/ridiculous
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Post by thehoff on Oct 12, 2007 2:14:10 GMT -5
Alrighty folks its time to get a few things straight,
Formula, whoever this person may be does not represent SFU (and if they do, a severe beating is in store for them)
Now listen Willy, the beer mile champ is hot at your heels (and has already defeated the rest of your team) and yet he is still on a keg a night diet, also known as Newfie-Akins weight watchers program.
Our local bushman Wakefield has shaved off an impressive 5 pounds of hair off his face and scrubbed the dirt from his legs leaving us the most aerodynamic cross runner to throw on a pair of spikes.
Our Newfoundland import has discovered that by not mixing his beer with Gatorade has enabled him to only throw up once in a workout, hydration is no longer a factor for this Atlantian
With all the SFU rookies training diligently, our watchful eye Mr.Gant has been reminding us that although we may be the classiest metrosexuals to walk the hill, we do have the common sense to not shave half our fuck|n head and pretend we are Robert DeNiro in taxi driver.
So boys, lets have fun at regionals and remember; be nice or Newfie will be sent to to UBC with a geoduck in each hand looking to clobber you jokers
Lots of love
TheHoff
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Post by Frenchie on Oct 13, 2007 0:54:45 GMT -5
aye.......well all i gotta say is after this there'll be no more criticizing of illwill's grammar, as you sitting ducks have now officially branded yourselves fair game....
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Post by Frenchie on Oct 13, 2007 1:49:30 GMT -5
actually that was a lie, i've got something else to say.......the taxi driver as he is now known will not go quietly into the night.......he will, instead, challenge thehoff to a beer mile (to be held on some as-of-yet indeterminate date).......but this will be no ordinary beer mile.......this will be the infamous, the dreaded, the spectacular 'salt lake city' beer mile, whereupon the commencement of each lap the (mostly) worthy competitors will consume not one, but TWO beers of at least %5 alc./vol.
this is much akin to the famed beer 2-mile performed courageously and to the great awe of all present by carlos the elder.....yet, somehow, ballsier....
........may the girthiest man win.
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dgant
Full Member
Posts: 269
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Post by dgant on Oct 13, 2007 2:24:58 GMT -5
Poor sentence structure and spelling/punctuation mistakes aside, TheHoff came through in a big way with that post. Phoenix and I can't carry this thread for SFU forever.
Formula: if you do indeed run/jump/throw....oh thats right, we don't have throwers....anyway, if you do compete for SFU, then I love you. But seriously, you gotta come stronger than that. If you aren't affiliated with SFU, please stop, you're making us look bad.
And I'd watch TheHoff vs. Taxi Driver in a "Salt Lake City" Beer Mile.
Odds? I got money on TheHoff, solely because the hair on that UBC froshmore is too ridiculous for words.
If you guys really need to tell yourselves that SFU is academically inferior to your institution in order to build your self-esteem, then go ahead. Whatever lets you sleep at night.
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Post by phoenixvic on Oct 14, 2007 17:06:29 GMT -5
I bet our practices this week will be so much better than ubc's.
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Post by feens on Oct 14, 2007 23:34:32 GMT -5
This week? I'm pretty sure they're always better.
And I'm pretty sure I sense a lot of jealousy in Will's lashing out against the freshmen of SFU. Perhaps it's because he has yet to finish ahead of our top 5.
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Oct 15, 2007 2:16:20 GMT -5
Thats the way Feens, right for the jugular, no mercy! hahahaha, oh froshmores, gotta love 'em.
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Post by Frenchie on Oct 15, 2007 12:38:18 GMT -5
oh shit, four sfu posts in a row! this simply cannot be allowed to go on.
you guys have been making way too much noise on here over that past few days, i guess it's safe to say that midterms are over up on the hill? well have fun while you can, because although we may not have much star power coming into regionals this year, we have compensateed by adopting a ruthless, take no prisoners, junkyard dog mentality. come nov. 3rd, expect full-fledged guerrilla warfare. no quarter will be given.
you didn't hear this from me, but i suggest you make sure your whole team warms up in a group at regionals, or you might be a couple bodies short at the gun. i haven't told this to anyone yet, but i actually had to restrain an over aggressive tbird at preregionals from taking advantage of a clansman who had somehow become seperated from the herd. it went like this: we were warming up, and noticed a kenyan clansman shuffling along about 20m behind us (dunno what for, maybe carlos owes him money). with a predatory grin, the opportunistic inaki whispers to us with barely-contained glee, "look, there's wambui. let's take him out. we're in the woods. he's all alone. it would be perfect."
needless to say i was a little taken aback, and reminded him that we shouldn't resort tactics that dirty until all other ways of cheating had been exhausted.
not that i condone any such tactics (at least, none that i will admit to), but i would recommend wariness on the part of the clan....
btw, i'm not sure where you get off saying your practices are so much fun. it seems very implausible to me, as a matter of fact, i could say it seems downright fishy that anyone could come up with such an absurd claim. i mean, seriously. how could anyone have more fun practicing in the grey, windswept, desolate, forlorn, littered-with-used-needles grounds of sfu/ burnaby*, as opposed the the warm, pleasant, green, friendly, and all-around pleasant vales of the ubc endowment lands? it just doesn't seem possible. kind of like phoenix claiming that he gets laid.
*at least, this is what they told me on IMAGINE day in first year. i guess i just take their word for it. after all, what possible reason could i have for travelling outside of the nurturing confines of point grey?
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Post by phoenixvic on Oct 16, 2007 1:32:41 GMT -5
no responses eh. is anybody from ubc there? anybody at all? (standing on tiptoe with right hand to forehead and glaring past frenchie's head into the distance)... no one?
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Post by illwill on Oct 16, 2007 1:48:15 GMT -5
It's only cheating if you get caught... right Ben, Tim and Marion?
An aviator rockin', strip polo wearin', over-sized blazer sportin', TK son being, whistler inhabitin' buddy of mine mentioned to me today that apparently Joren has been running under Morgan's name at any/all races this season due to some sort of sponsorship contract an injured MoTits has with Beaver Buzz / Beaver Buzz Adventure Racing Team... and Joren, being identical to Morgan looking man that he is took the liberty to insure that Morgan is to receive all 48 cans of Beaver Buzz necessary for his 2008 Grouse Grind preparation.
I just wanted to straighten everything out before the real Joren comes back and shit-stomps everything SFU at regionals this year.**
True story.
And even if it weren't, what are you clowns going to do?... take a blood test?
** This may have jokingly been posed to a Mr. Jedrzejek... several times... who absolutely vetoed the notion... but I mean, although this is absolutely immoral and unethical, how good of a story would that be in five years...
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Post by illwill on Oct 16, 2007 1:49:57 GMT -5
no responses eh. is anybody from ubc there? anybody at all? (standing on tiptoe with right hand to forehead and glaring past frenchie's head into the distance)... no one? Posts like this only concrete the fact that you're NOT getting laid phoenix, let's get real here. |
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Post by Frenchie on Oct 16, 2007 12:47:27 GMT -5
no responses eh. is anybody from ubc there? anybody at all? (standing on tiptoe with right hand to forehead and glaring past frenchie's head into the distance)... no one? let's get real here, indeed.......even on tiptoes you'd still be staring straight at my chest...... |
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Post by phoenixvic on Oct 16, 2007 16:04:50 GMT -5
wowza, there ya go frenchie! from author of the 17 worst posts on the thread right back nto the nitty gritty. lob ya a couple softies and and your already rolling 'em to the warning track.
and william, I've actually grown tired of all the copulating... i don't see what 15 of my babies are going to do for the world that 14 can't manage. I think i am just going to settle down and open an ice cream store like I've always wanted to, or maybe write a book about what it'd be like to open an ice cream store.
Now all this thread needs is the input of a decent runner and we'll be back on track... dil? newf? wambui? twins? hoff? human beings residing east of main? ubc alum?
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scobie
Junior Member
Posts: 73
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Post by scobie on Oct 16, 2007 16:54:11 GMT -5
hey will...our plan is set....Me and Kristen are having the SFU mens team over for supper the thursday before regions...how pink should the chicken be again?
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dgant
Full Member
Posts: 269
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Post by dgant on Oct 16, 2007 22:17:50 GMT -5
Time to clear up a few misconceptions....
Frenchie, nobody said our training is more "fun" than UBC's. The word Phoenix used was "better". The fact that you equate "fun" with "better" in regards to training is probably the reason why we've shit-stomped you clowns without mercy all year.
Will, somewhere in that incoherent mess is a very funny joke.... I know there is..... I think I figured it out, and if you're saying what I think you're saying, that would pretty freakin' hilarious. And legendary. But it should be noted that I'm 1-0 against men named Titus at NAIA Region I Cross Country Championships. To quote one of the great films of our time, "Bring it on!"
Scobie, you are no longer allowed within 100 feet of any SFU Cross Country runner, male or female, until November 18th. I just finished meeting with the judge, and you should be getting the restraining order tomorrow. I talked to Kristin, and she agrees that this is for the best. Oh yeah, and you're facial hair is ridiculous.
Finally, regarding Phoenix and his, ahem, extra-curricular activities with members of the opposite sex. I don't pretend to know all the details of the personal lives of my team-mates; its their business what (and whom) they do on their own time, and I know only what they choose to share. What I do know for certain, though, is that Phoenix has a huge cock. So it is not entirely inconceivable that he gets laid with some regularity, as some chicks supposedly dig massive members.
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Oct 17, 2007 2:05:43 GMT -5
I have never, ever, participated in an interval workout that was even remotely fun. I enjoy doing them and derive great satisfaction upon their completion, but fun is not a word I would use to describe them, whether I ran fast or not. It all hurts just the same.
I figured you'd throw out a gay joke. You've never seen another guys dick? Ever? In your entire life? Thought so. Must mean you're gay too, then.
"Supposedly" was a bad word choice. This debate over Phoenix's sex life is stupid though. Suffice to say he gets more ass than you.
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Post by Schnopps on Oct 17, 2007 10:40:13 GMT -5
The fact that 14 people are postulating whether or not one person on either team is getting laid shows the poor state that is a college male cross country runner's sex-life. Especially since so many of us are doubtful that even 1 person is getting laid! haha.
Anyway, these SFU vs. UBC threads are much more fun when the average team time is within a minute of each other. However, having said that I think things will turn around for UBC starting this weekend after seeing big improvements from everyone in yesterday's workout. Not enough to beat SFU, but I won't be surprised if UBC beats a ranked team or two come regionals.
Dylan, I have never seen someone leave themselves so open to bashing than you with your big cock comments. In fact, when I read it I got all excited thinking about the possibilities of a good burn only to see that Frenchie had already jumped on it .....
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Post by Frenchie on Oct 17, 2007 12:21:58 GMT -5
Sorry about that last post of mine, it was pretty bad. So I deleted it.
And yes, "supposedly" was a very poor word choice. Implying that you have a small dick, or at least sounding like you are doing so, isn't really something you want to be doing...
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Oct 17, 2007 17:29:02 GMT -5
Schnopps, don't think I didn't debate, for a long time, whether or not to leave that comment on the cutting room floor. In the end I left it in, because of the shit-storm it was likely to cause. I'm just that kind of guy: I'll put my reputation on the line for the entertainment of others. And when I did get burned, I replied with such wit and intelligence that Frenchie was forced to delete his post, such was the extent to which he got owned.
Christ I'm funny.
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Post by phoenixvic on Oct 17, 2007 17:43:04 GMT -5
this thread really went in a completely unforeseeable direction since yesterday.
P.S, i WAS going to say "dylan, you're going crazy man. and speaking of how you know i have a large member, how has no one brought up jacqueline on this thread yet?"
but then i thought that dylan's just done too much for me over the years, not to mention the rest of his family who i hold in the highest of regards. i couldn't simultaneously tear him down and bring his sister into this, not to mention the black on black crime i'd be committing. that's why i didn't say it.
oh and dylan gets by far the most sex on the cross team. i started to type that as a joke, but then i thought about it and as unlikely as it seems it's almost certainly true, unless you can somehow bring yourself to count overs as being on the team AND you believe his stories. man how did we get here?! and why am i ripping on my own team?!
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Post by tovers on Oct 18, 2007 3:14:57 GMT -5
Ok i normally just observe the thread and stay out of the digs but after phoenixvic named dropped i felt compelled to step up. The Red Shirt is off and im looking forward to the outdoor season so SFU can dominate UBC yet again at the dual. And as for my stories, i would never make those up phoenixvic, you should come out sometime and see how it goes down. But that being said i still think Gant gets the most ass out of anyone..on the cross team.
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Oct 18, 2007 14:01:25 GMT -5
P.S, i WAS going to say "dylan, you're going crazy man. and speaking of how you know i have a large member, how has no one brought up jacqueline on this thread yet?" but then i thought that dylan's just done too much for me over the years, not to mention the rest of his family who i hold in the highest of regards. i couldn't simultaneously tear him down and bring his sister into this, not to mention the black on black crime i'd be committing. that's why i didn't say it. Thanks for not dragging my sister into this Phoenix, that was good of you....... And now Overs has entered the ring. This should be interesting. |
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Post by tovers on Oct 18, 2007 14:53:15 GMT -5
What's interesting is that as of October 17th, the new rankings do not include UBC but they do mention our beloved SFU..Just thought i'd toss that out there
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Post by phoenixvic on Oct 18, 2007 15:34:24 GMT -5
way to pay attention overs. ubc hasn't been ranked since the cardinals won the world series.
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scobie
Junior Member
Posts: 73
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Post by scobie on Oct 19, 2007 10:01:59 GMT -5
Gant, Word on the street is that you an newfie are thinking about comming out to surrey central brew pub tonight with me and kolstad. Since the restraining order doesn't seem to be working would you be interested in walking to "the bird" after?? I'll show you how pink meat can really be on the inside. I wouldn't suggesting eatting any of that meat though, you would get very very very sick.
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Post by illwill on Oct 21, 2007 18:18:06 GMT -5
Shit, I take a hiatus from this wretched thread and it takes a nosedive south… nearly to the depths of page two (maybe it was to be for the best… and if that’s the case, I apologize).
A mere 13 days until Regionals and 12 days until the SFU Clan comes down with a nasty bout of food poisoning. Scobie, I think they’re onto us so the deal is off. But have no fear, I’ve got in touch with the Red Lion hotel food catering staff in Olympia, WA… and they charge less than half what you did Scobie. So everyone wins, except SFU.
Phoenix you seriously have no grounds to be hacking us saying we’re all shitty runners and it’s starting to actually piss me off… Hi Jamie, my name is Will Stewart and I beat you by 4 minutes and 27 seconds last year at Regionals. Stick to personal attacks involving grammatical errors and baguettes, because performance related ones are no longer valid.
Who’s running BCs this weekend?
Congrats to all UBCers who competed in the Team Time Trial down in Bellevue yesterday, although, I’m still not quite sure why it was organized so far away?...
Marek said there are 18 teams in our region this year… so that mean there are more Ind. Berths?
What was the shitty deleted post… I’m curious. I’m wondering if it was anything as harsh as MrSymonds post of 2006.
Done.
Also: I was trying to indiscreetly say that we were thinking of getting MoTits to run in the place of jmoney. It's a joke and it's funny because they're identical twins HA.. HA..
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dgant
Full Member
Posts: 269
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Post by dgant on Oct 21, 2007 18:52:30 GMT -5
The deleted post was nothing like Symond's legendary treatise on our females. It was just weak.
I know you guys are just joking around....... but I'm bringing my own food to Olympia. Just in case.
People ferrying over to Victoria this weekend (off the top of my head, may miss some): Mitch "DA BITCH", Brett Wakefield, Kolstad, Jessica Smith, our ass kicking alumni, and probably some others.
18 teams seems like an awful lot. And you just might need those extra individual berths, Will, 'cuz even divine intervention won't help your team get to nats.
PS: As underhanded, unethical, and Machiavellian as it would be, having Morgan run as Joren at regionals would probably make for the greatest story ever in UBC cross-country history. Especially if you wound up making nationals because of it. I almost wish you guys would try it....... just thinking about the possible fall-out from such a maneuver is making me all giddy.
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Post by illwill on Oct 21, 2007 19:47:15 GMT -5
Selection Criteria.
1. Ranked teams that do not lose to unranked teams (teams considered in order of final ranking).
2. Unranked teams that beat ranked teams.
3. Ranked teams that lose to unranked teams.
4. Unranked teams that do not beat but finish close to highly ranked teams.
There are 5 teams in Region I ranked at the moment, seeing that it's pretty much common place to say that you c*nts are drastically underrated if we are to beat ONE of the other four we still stand a (decent?) chance of arriving to National Championships Day via at-large berth.
Wow, I feel like a loser, I just googled NAIA rules. Big time low point here. Plus, there are 18 - 11 in that shitty conference and 7 independents (IE. UBC / SFU)
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Post by phoenixvic on Oct 22, 2007 0:12:46 GMT -5
Hi Will, I am Jamie and I run 800m.
I've tried the 8k thing but it didn't work out. thanks for trying to inspire me though. I mean, 4 minutes and 27 seconds faster and I could be ubc's top man....or still not crack sfu's top 5.
welcome to the club babe.
perhaps i've been a little brash for a red shirt, I'll try to be a little more neutral and calm if it appeases you william. you are good will, you know you are. don't let my little sideline cracks get to you. you're a great runner, a damn fine sport, and a handsome young man who probably gets more tail than even the likes of gant! p.s, any nuck 50/50 ticket sales planned for this year?
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