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Post by phoenixvic on Sept 8, 2007 17:09:54 GMT -5
silence the trumpets...
Illwill must be sick, cuz it's time to get this going and he's nowhere to be heard from. I was still going to put UBC first in the title because they took us down at cross regionals last year, but then I realized that was just on the men's side, and that this is a bisexual thread. Well that, and the dual-meet wasn't much for those traveling over from the evil UBC side of town. Semantics aside, lets get on with our own mini-preview:
The SFU ladies are once again back to defend their crown. A few new recruits and some strong returners and things are looking positive for the Clan. SFU's first race isn't until next weekend at Sundodger, so I can't confirm how fast this new group is until then (or until I can keep them within my sights during practice).
To answer Frenchie's questions in the other thread, the SFU men face a steeper climb and have some serious work ahead. The Champ, Wambui, has indeed headed back to Kenya to tend the fields. El Gantor, seemingly distraught by the loss of his Kenyan comrade, has also decided to pack it in early and wait for the nicer weather and the red, round track. With no real Freshmen coming in to fill the roster spots, the men's side of SFU's squad looks like it's going to be:
Mitch Culley: our dancing freshmen talent
Twin 1: our courageous knight
Twin 2: we're glad you upgraded your license
Stephen Nicol: Seen some serious improvement since that infamous 1500
Sir Me: ready to round it up and catch any struggling ubc'ers to help get the W.
And that's pretty much how it looks. UBC, you guys got anything we should know about?
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 8, 2007 20:30:36 GMT -5
yeah....you should know that we've got
illwill: piles of miles in the summer so i hear, perhaps pushing sir will to those great individual achievements of which he is so deserving (you know what i'm talking about but i don't want to jinx it).
chris maludziniskiziwhatever: apparently he's lost 4 pounds in a week...dunno if that bodes well or anything, i'm just sayin...
cam kuhn aka orlando kuhn aka kuhner: subscriber of the wild new theory of running indoors on a treadmill all summer while marooned on a rock in the queen charlottes. seems fit. if anything, will be motivated by the desire to not look bad in front of/ get beaten by his gf who is a new addition to the women's team.
shaun stephens-whale: this 1st year is a distinguished mtn. runner and obviously growing up and running/ racing on slopes that make the p-loop hill look "pretty flat" have done wonders for his aerobic abilities, as he has handed the second-years' asses to them in all the workouts so far. however, the same cannot be said for his running form, but i imagine that will change now that he is under mj's guidance. look out for this guy.
romaniw aka chris: i predict a predictable improvement over last year. maybe if he manages his peaking a bit better this year he'll surprise everyone and uncork something worthy of his talent. plus his little bro's been ripping it up lately so he'll have to do something noteworthy to save face.
davin mackenzie aka dmac: after a very quiet cross season last year, dmac came out of nowhere to qualify for NAIA's in the 800 off 2 track sessions a week, a couple 1k loops on saturdays and a 50 minute "long run" on sundays. has blazing wheels and ran a long track season so he'll hopefully have something left over to add on to the xc volume that he's, of course, doing (right davin?). also ran a 4:07 1500 in may to prove he's not just a sprinter.
luc lapierre aka frenchie aka moi: in a perfect world, i will have suffered no setbacks from my march stress fracture, gained massive strength from a summer of hard treeplanting labour, been able to throw together a decent base in the 2 mos. that i've been running, and will make NAIA's where i will pleasantly surprise myself with a fast race. i will also find bill gates' credit card in a trash bin, win a car from a tim horton's cup, and enter into a polygamous marriage with a busload of hungarian bikini models on a tour of western canada.
nigel hole: soft-spoken, mild-mannered, easy-going, fast-runnin son of a gun with legs like tree trunks and the speed of an sfu girl chasing down a real man.
theo jankowski: last year: shows up fit, looks good early, crashes and burns big time.
this year: shows up fitter, looks better early, and if he crashes and burns this time i'm confiscating his scooter until he learns his lesson.
jordan "the animal" maynard: recently-crowned vancouver international triathlon champ. yes, the stories are true: he wears no shoes. he howls at the moon. he sleeps hanging upside down in a tree. he holds his breath for 2 minutes at a time. he does backflips off the 10-metre diving board. well, maybe that one's a myth after all, but yours truly has witnessed many a maynard backflip off the 5m. point is, it's obvious that he's a hardcore nutter, and as such will destroy in xc.
inaki gomez aka eeeeenaku: will be racewalking a 20k somewhere during sundodger, and i have no clue if/when he will start running this fall, so he's a question mark in my books. but if he does, he's a phenomenal athlete who can run with the best of them and walk better than the best of them, so watch out for the mexican connexican.
eliel hindert: hailing from salt lake city, utah, this badass is another mtn. runner and monster of the hills. since he's american, he runs miles, not wussy little kilometres. too cool for school and on mj's "talents to watch" list, so take heed.
yi han: um....what did you do this summer yi? anything involving forward motion on two feet? anything at all? well, he went to NAIA's last year, that counts for something.
creighton connolly aka cc aka double c: racewalked his way around the continent this summer and worked at a super busy starbucks to boot, so his stamina's got to be great. he's got the legs of a giraffe and the stride length of a shetland pony...maybe you can see what the limiting factor is here...however he will buck the trend and break the jobber barrier.
eric bean, shane mcluskie, billy regan: fate has blessed us with a large crop of talented and hungry freshmen such as these fine gentlemen here, hear me now believe me later these names will loom large in the near future.
ADDENDA: in addition to our usual competitive drive, fiery spirits, and unsatiable will to win, marek has added a monetary incentive this year: make the team and he'll pay you back the $155 he made us drop on team uniforms! by that logic, i am sure to win nationals since i am the cheapest son of a bitch alive....i hate spending money....makes me feel icky....
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Post by Schnopps on Sept 10, 2007 15:22:21 GMT -5
hmm, well I don't recognize 90% of those names but I do know that there are two planned 'late season' additions that should keep the underwear of members of the 'Klan' slightly damp.....
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Post by illwill on Sept 10, 2007 15:25:17 GMT -5
truth.
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Post by phoenixvic on Sept 10, 2007 15:52:43 GMT -5
damp "excited" or damp "poopy"?
and 4 pounds in a week is nothing. try 8 in two days. a brief stint with food poisoning and im back into race shape. will we be clashing at sundodger this weekend? The fabulous sfu five head-to-head against the ubc 48?
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 10, 2007 20:35:19 GMT -5
There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and everything written on this thread is a gross exaggeration or outright lie.
I assume that these "late season additions" that Schnopps mentioned are linked to some "secret weapon" that Illy-Willy has been spouting off about all summer. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't a little curious, but I imagine this surprise will end up being completely blown out of proportion, disappointing, and totally ineffectual and irrelevant.
Rebuttal to Will's last post on the other UBC/SFU thread: C'mon. We both know last year was an aberration, especially the X-Country season. The universe will right itself this go-around, don't worry about it.
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Post by phoenixvic on Sept 10, 2007 20:40:18 GMT -5
oh what, Mr. Redshirt doesn't think i actually had food poisoning?
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Post by illwill on Sept 10, 2007 23:36:35 GMT -5
Keep telling yourself this is irrelevant. Gantypants if you know anything of my character you know I am never hyperbolic.... ever.
This surprise is of far bigger magnitude than me finding out on one of my 'papaschopps' cool down runs in whistler that everyone's favourite Kenyan is again eligible for another xc season... at least one more season before finding himself back on the Abbotsford asparagus farm. The dark-side must really work wonders in administration up there.
These 'secret weapons' or WNAIAXCD (Weapons of NAIA XC Destruction) are to be released at Willamette... and for those SFU patrons who are unfamiliar with this race. It's the meet that you guys always conveniently skip as it's the real test of mid-season rankings... i mean i can understand hiding, but going all the way to San Fransisco seems a little queer.
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 11, 2007 23:33:03 GMT -5
The Champ, Wambui, has indeed headed back to Kenya to tend the fields. This surprise is of far bigger magnitude than me finding out on one of my 'papaschnopps' cool down runs in whistler that everyone's favourite Kenyan is again eligible for another xc season... OK so which story are we believing here? One on hand I can see phoenix saying that just to fuck with our heads, but then again I can't see dgant wanting to redshirt with the prospect of having a solid team with a top three comprising of himself, Wambui, and Culley. Ah, well.....like so many other things in upcoming season, I guess we'll just have to believe it when we see it.... |
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Post by phoenixvic on Sept 12, 2007 15:50:55 GMT -5
oh wambui is eligible alright. but he's not expected back in time for cross. post-whistler he took off and switched all his courses to distance ed stuff he can do in kenya. if you can talk gant in to not red shirting, that'd be tre belle. red-shirting is for pussies. unless you have a legitimate injury, like a severe blow to your big toe nail, then you're pretty tough just for getting out of the house. man what would i do without this thread.... oh yeah, stats... or www.virtualnes.com |
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 13, 2007 0:35:43 GMT -5
Phoenix speaks the truth, my friends. And due to his toe nail mishap, SFU's Fabulous Five are now the Fantastic Four, plus some random guy we found sleeping in the AQ and cajoled into running for us this weekend so we can field a full team. On the bright side, I managed to eat some food today, so I think my depression (caused by David's sudden trans-Atlantic trip) is abetting.
PS: Don't think I missed the obvious opportunity to slip in a "Fantastic Four" joke, I just figured it was a little too easy. Feel free to insert one yourselves, though.
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Post by illwill on Sept 13, 2007 20:12:32 GMT -5
direct athletics disagrees with any/all of the above comments by posters of the SFU variety.
it even says that if you get food poisoning you're a pussy. raw chicken... no biggie.
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 13, 2007 21:32:30 GMT -5
UBC vs. SFU threads sitting one-two atop the message board. Holla.
And direct athletics is full of shit.
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 13, 2007 23:33:06 GMT -5
This trashtalk-tirade is gold and deserves a spot on the current thread. well it actually makes me want to attend SFU or UBC because of the awesomness of posts, but i feel i lack certain aspects to attend UBC...... I'm guessing you're lacking a decent GPA, rugged good looks, and an immaculate ability to either 1. run game or 2. do handstands/cart wheels on the dance floor. "Lacking a decent GPA"  Will, the posts on here by the UBCers prove that you're all very nearly functionally illiterate. And you tossers don't even have a track. And our girls are better looking. And faster. And we killed you at the Dual Meet. And I'd go on, but I don't have three hours to spare. Hey don’t generalize here.... just because I can’t read or write doesn’t take away from the supremacy of our institution. Our track’s done this August and will therefore be better than yours. Wait till nats this year to see which chicks are faster. And you beat us by at Dual fucking Ruki so get over it. Naa na naa na boo boo. you'll never take away the d-floor abilities gant, never. i vote to bury this thread in the depths of the tnfnorth mainframe... bring on 07/08 And you beat us by at Dual fucking Ruki so get over it. gant, what did you do to ruky? does mere know about this? Gant....don't be hating on Will, he's HKIN. They don't need to be walking lexicons/calculators; their hearts just need to be in the right place....and that place is: _______________ (fill in the blank - bonus HKIN quiz question!) |
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 13, 2007 23:37:36 GMT -5
And gobisons.....don't worry, it's not so much the GPA UBC admin. cares about.....just send them a summary of your parent's bank account.....
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 14, 2007 12:49:14 GMT -5
"And you beat us by at Dual fucking Ruky..."
I rest my case.
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Post by phoenixvic on Sept 15, 2007 0:27:10 GMT -5
Well, most ubc'ers won't see this till post race tomorrow, but there's been a fairly considerate change of events for us over here on the SFU side. It all began Tuesday night, around midnight. My house here was getting filthy and I didn't want to do stats homework, so I started cleaning. I did the dishes, cleaned the counter, moved some appliances around - it was a pretty productive little timespan. Then I felt compelled to move the couch, and I am not sure why, because it was fine where it was. The catch is that our couches here aren't like most couches which rest equally upon four legs. Our couches have a wooden bar that runs along the ground on either side of the couch, attaching what would be the front and back leg on each side. I didn't know this.
I stood beside one end of the couch and pulled it sharply towards me, half expecting the cushionie portion of the couch to gently collide with my thigh, and half, well, just not thinking. Instead of my foot sliding safely under the couch, that wood bar I told you about earlier, it took a run at my big right toe nail - Peeled the nail right back and started bleeding everywhere. As I write this, it's still putting out fresh blood. Just so you don't all worry too much, I've upgraded from crutches to a cane. Recovery should be swift.
This incident had tremendous implications for the SFU men's team. What first appeared to be insurmountable disaster - the loss of me - has turned out to have a bit of a silver lining. When Dylan came to visit me in the hospital things didn't look so good. The doctors told him I might not make it, and being the good friend he is, he passed the word on to me. I tried to be strong, but I didn't want all that base building I had done to be for nothing. I made Dylan promise to return to the Clan where he belongs, and take off that damn red-shirt, it totally clashed with his skin tone anyways.
Unable to decline what he thought was a dying man's last wish, Dylan has traveled with the team to Sundodger this weekend. Perhaps more shocking though is what followed; an amazing demonstration of the power of facebook. Through a series of wall-posts and news-updates, Wambui was able to find out about my injury and Dylan's return to the team. My battle against the couch and more so - my refusal to give up on life when faced with this adversity, inspired him. He immediately booked a flight back to Canada. It was too late to get a direct flight, so he ended up connecting in the major international hub of NewFoundland. He found this guy named Ryan working at the airport selling pretzels. They got to chatting, and though Ryan was difficult to understand, he appeared (communicating mostly through hand gestures) to be telling Wambui that he liked to run, and had long dreamed of moving westward, even beyond Quebec.
So Wambui gave Ryan his extra photo id and snuck him on the plane; luckily the two appeared to have been separated at birth. The plane then connected in Kitchener, Ontario. The pair were greeted by a flight attendant named Trevor who stared them down and challenged them to a race to the back of the plane. Wambui declined, Ryan punched Trevor in the face misunderstanding his challenge as a slant on his mother, and long story short, our twosome was now a trifecta.
When the plane got over BC, some shit went down and they ended up parachuting into the mountains. Seperated, the three ran back, separately along some trails, fighting bears and young children. They met a woodsman named Yubai and a mountain yodeler named Bret, once a part of New Zealand's fourth most popular folk-comedy duo - the flight of the conchords.
Individually, they weren't a pretty bunch. But with there powers combined....
Anyways, this is where it gets weird. They all show up at SFU, and low and behold it turns out they had all applied to the school, been accepted, and signed up for classes months ago... but had just completely forgotten about it!
whew, good luck tomorrow fellow Clansmen and women, I know it's been a long week for you.
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 15, 2007 22:18:16 GMT -5
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hoey
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Post by hoey on Sept 15, 2007 22:34:07 GMT -5
any word on the timing from the main event at Lincoin Park?
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 15, 2007 22:51:49 GMT -5
Oh, on an unrelated note, it was nice to see Mr.Symonds, schnopps, and "The (Former) Champ" throwing it down in the Invitational section. Solid performances all around; PB for ex-Champ, Symonds kept the boys in their home, and schnopps made the chances of a comeback look very real.
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Post by Bomba on Sept 16, 2007 0:54:35 GMT -5
..schnopps and the ex champ are just laying the groundwork.....I say look for some huge performances from thise two in about a month or 2.....
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Post by j9canada on Sept 16, 2007 21:06:29 GMT -5
Are there not any times for the men?
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 16, 2007 21:20:21 GMT -5
......well you guys are obviously fit way too soon.....it'll be all downhill from here.....you're obviously peaking way too early.....smart, guys, real smart.....
Ah, hell. There's no hiding the fact: we got stomped. In what turned out to be a colossal turn of fortune in SFU's favour, instead of showing up with a measly foursome of rag-tags, you guys showed up full-force with the usual gang of illiterates and wanabe girly-man fashionista's (for real, I saw a Fraser doing strides in what appeared to be women's lululemon yoga crops), plus a swarm of fresh recruits from god-knows-where that I'd never even heard of.....the air was abuzz with chatter over at the UBC camp....from whence had this fearsome batallion come? The only obvious answer being witchcraft....or as an esteemed UBC alumnus put it "britcraft"....
But worry not, adoring fans, for, like a phoenix from the ashes, UBC will once again rise up to defeat these evil forces. Actually, a few phoenixes from the ashes, as some of you may already be aware (apparently one of our well-meaning alumni was kind enough to fill some people in on the current state of affairs of our team), but I'll put this out there just to remind you. In time for our grand foray into Oregon, Marek Jedrzkzhiuziiwewgigfwfq and the UBC men's cross country team are proud to present, our kuniggets in shining armour, Mr. Mark Wilkie and the Ghost of Christmas Past, Joren Titus.
Now, I've never personally met Joren, but I have been to a number of workouts where one Morgan Titus was present, and apparently they're like twins or something, so I'm assuming Joren will have at least a bit of Morgan's talent....and even a bit of that kind of talent will be more than good enough to better most Clansmen...
And then of course there's the charismatic Mark Wilkie, who's booming voice, impeccable Marek impressions, and deadly accuracy with food items while riding shotgun in a moving vehicle will bolster our ranks mightily.
Also making a return (hopefully sometime soon) will be Chris Mals, Nigel Hole, and Inaki Gomez, and with these additions we will have a squad that can out-drink, out-walk, out-flex, and maybe......just maybe.....out-run our NAIA counterparts to the east.
And the plot thickens....
PS.....damn that was a funny story....fighting bears and young children....
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 16, 2007 21:32:16 GMT -5
Also I'm not too optimistic about the UW people getting those times up.....I looked at results from a couple years ago that didn't have times either. I'm going by memory here, but for our part I'm pretty sure it was
Billy Regan 26:55
Jordan Maynard 26:55
Will Stewart 27:05 but I'm pretty sure he did another whirl around that top loop that we run at the start just for training purposes.....you know, overdistance training, that kind of stuff......
Eliel Hindert 27:11
Shaun Stephens-Whale 27:19
Erik Bean 27:29
Luc Lapierre 27:32
Davin Mackenzie 27:56
Chris Romaniw 28low
Shane McCluskie 28low
Marc (I don't know how to spell his last name) 28mid
Theo Jankowski 28:30
Then I think it was Yi Han and CC in 29-plus. Hope I didn't miss anybody.
If one of you helpful Clansmen could put up your guys' times that would be very enlightening.
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 16, 2007 23:34:09 GMT -5
I don't know what you guys cross town are bitching about, when I saw Will in Whistler I told him that David was running (and that he wasn't that fit), that I wasn't red-shirting, and that we had this kid from Newfoundland who was gonna kick ass. If you actually believed anything that was written on this here message board (or, God forbid, letsrun), well, that was just stupid. But I digress, here were the approximate times for our men yesterday.
Me: 24:52
Ryan: 25:25
Wambui: 26:08(?)
Seth: 26:22ish
Chad: 26:32ish
Steven Nicol: 27:01
Not sure about Culley, Feeney, or Yubai, can't remember what they ran.
And no more cracks about David and his eligibility, that's no where near as sketchy as Joren Titus making a comeback and running for the T-Birds.
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Post by Frenchie on Sept 16, 2007 23:42:03 GMT -5
Good point....I guess we can't use that joke anymore.....
I did some quick research on this Brockerville fella, it looks to me like he's blossomed into quite the runner in the past 10 mos. or so.
Fine bit of recruiting, that.
And about Culley......wtf happened there.....
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Post by feens on Sept 17, 2007 1:19:35 GMT -5
I can speak for my own time of 27:11.
As the self-proclaimed "new old guy" of the SFU XC Clan, I can confirm that I most definitely not one of Brit's fine recruits. The fine mountain of Burnaby called louder than the oceans of the Vancouver coast, and my decision was made.
Only time will tell how quick these aging distance-craving legs will go when surrounded by our relatively young team.
And phoenix, that was definitely the most interesting and obscure introduction I've ever received.
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Post by phoenixvic on Sept 17, 2007 1:32:56 GMT -5
hey ubc, GOTCHA!
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Post by illwill on Sept 17, 2007 1:48:10 GMT -5
yarr... inopportune time to incorrectly edit a tongue in cheek post. but dylan... "everything you assholes say, you take from books... Guess what? I don't steal anything from books." so get outta here! Dearest frenchie, please erase the time posted above for a mr william stewart; contact the race director to have all files/hard copies burned... to be forgotten for eternity. That being said, it got ugly out there this weekend. not only did i blow my wod in the first mile of the race... we were missing 4 of our top 5 guys. Willamette will sing a different tune for the boys of UBC... i'm even gonna wear flats or spikes, so game on. Joren may be 7 years graduated from high school but semesters he's been at school are less than me, what with trips to thailand and dean's vacations littered throughout a glorious university career... what better way to cap it off than another season of debauchery. Shane, your van may have won the battle home but you're going to lose the war buddy... Davin two years a row with the cheap shots in the I5FFL... what's next, kicking dudes in the nuts during a fight and slapping women? wilkie you've definitely have the best arm in the league... friggin bananas man, those things are hard to get off a van once caked on. bomba is absolutely correct... expect big things from our faithful alum... they've worked their asses of this summer and it's going to pay off huge/lairlos still has a track season left - i hope he can kick the living tar out of this guy on the track (and if not i'll do it the night after... what a loser) www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-lNRkV-fogbicep curls - functional/necessary.... errrr no UBC/SFU women could do battle later this season. this was definitely the closest our girls have been to the powerhouse known as the dark-side since i started running/cared remotely about women's athletics. |
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dgant
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Post by dgant on Sept 17, 2007 13:14:48 GMT -5
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-lNRkV-fogHAhahahahahahah, I loved the music. Got me soooo pumped. I wish I collapsed in a heap after repeats. Shitty thing is the guy is pretty damn fast.
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Will, the posts on here by the UBCers prove that you're all very nearly functionally illiterate. And you tossers don't even have a track. And our girls are better looking. And faster. And we killed you at the Dual Meet. And I'd go on, but I don't have three hours to spare.